Congratulations, you’re about to pop the big question! Yes, you’re going to ask your paramour and soon-to-be life partner the big question. The query that will set the tone for your relationship, the story that you’ll be telling for years to come. The moment of selecting and giving engagement rings moves the connection up to a whole new milestone with a sparkling stone that, for many women, is their love language.
The other big question: should you shop for engagement rings together? There are terrific points to be made in the serendipity camp, and there are excellent reasons to choose this piece of jewelry hand-in-hand.
The Solo Selection
Pros:
Proposals and engagement rings have traditionally revolved around the element of surprise. You on bended knee, opening a velvet-lined jewel box, and the look of delight on your lady love’s face as she views the ring for the first time.
Selecting the ring communicates your confidence that you understand her values and aesthetics, you appreciate her unspoken wishes, and that you’re capable of delighting her with your encyclopedic knowledge of her innermost desires.
Cons:
Choose the wrong ring, one that she’ll be wearing the rest of her life, and this decision will be remembered with every argument, discussion, or adventure, coming to the forefront every time that she looks at it. And unlike bad jokes and inopportune digestive issues, less-than-loved engagement rings are not quickly forgotten and forgiven.
The Duo Choice
Pros:
You’re going to be making decisions together, so set the standard for communication and partnership. Plus, if you’ve discussed taking the relationship to the next level, your partner’s already expecting the ring.
You are off the hook for picking something she’s going to rock. You may think your lady love is a rebel, and she may very well be. However, she may surprise you. For example, she may yearn for the popular and archetypal ring, the solitaire style with one diamond set on a timelessly elegant band, a perennial favorite since 1886, and still going strong today, according to Dazzling Rock.
Cons:
You could fall prey to trying to impress one another, her trying to hide her desire for the engagement rings of her dreams, or you trying to pick a rock that impresses.
And while you can’t put a price on romance, commitment, and love, a salesperson might also use a couple’s shopping to upsell.
Compromise
Try shopping together for the opportunity to gauge what appeals, and then surprise her with the final selection.